


Heartbeat

by sammysouffle (talesandthings)



Category: Daredevil (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Zombie Matt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-19
Updated: 2018-10-19
Packaged: 2019-08-04 05:30:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16340696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/talesandthings/pseuds/sammysouffle
Summary: Matt’s lost everything. His life, his faith… his humanity.





	Heartbeat

**Author's Note:**

> I am back once again with new DD fics.

When the walls came crumbling down around Matt, with the woman he loved in his arms, he thought it was a perfect death. Far better than the grim death he had imagined for himself all these years.

***

But then… his senses were awake once again. He could hear buzzing in the background. When the haziness in his brain cleared out, the voices became clear. He knew those voices. No, not just the voices, everything about this place was familiar. The rough sheet rubbing against his bruised skin, the clock hanging over his head that never seemed to run out of batteries, and the tiny twin bed he that would no doubt fall out of if he made one wrong move. No, no, no… he couldn’t be back. Not here. It took Matt a whole minute to realize that he could feel the panic in his body but his heart was steady. It wasn’t beating rapidly. In fact, it wasn’t beating at all. Matt swallowed a large, dry gulp, and focused on the nun sitting beside him, reading through a bible. He could hear her heartbeat. It was steady but he could hear it. He just couldn’t hear his own.

***

Matt was lying down but felt like a rug had been pulled right from underneath his feet when mo-  _Maggie_  told him that he wasn’t fully back. He was somewhere between alive and dead. Matt had no idea what that meant. She’s known about Matt’s abilities since he was a kid so she kept her voice calm and soft as she delivered the news. She continued to tell him about how she had no idea what had happened but he tuned out the rest of her words.

It took Matt a couple days to realize that being neither alive nor dead meant that he was a zombie. Not unlike Elektra. Elektra. He had no idea where she was. There is no doubt in his mind that she’s the reason behind his predicament. He’d sure like to get his hands on her. It was when his thoughts spiraled and he started daydreaming about how he wanted to torture Elektra and punish her for what she had done to him when it hit him that he wasn’t himself anymore. He knew in his head that he loved this woman, but he just couldn’t feel that love in his heart because he didn’t have a heart. So that day Matt decided he was leaving his old life behind. He could no longer go back to the life of Matt Murdock, because Matt Murdock, Attorney at Law, best friend of Foggy Nelson and Karen Page was dead.

***

Matt still lived at the convent but he started to question God and his faith in God. That scared him. His faith gave him something to hold on to to ground himself. What was he without it? A man without faith… free to do anything?

***

Past has a way of catching up to you and Matt was no exception. He came back banged up every night. It doesn’t take him long to figure out who wanted him dead. He just shrugged it off and kept going out there every night, and welcomed every hit. He could rip these men apart with his bare hands but he held himself back. If anything, he welcomed their hits. He deserved them. There were bones in his body that never healed. They have broken all over again but he didn’t care because it wasn’t hurting. One of the perks of being undead. Also, as an undead, he didn’t bleed. But Maggie was there every night, ready with a First Aid kit. She cleaned him up and bandaged his wounds despite his protests. After a couple weeks, it becomes a ritual. 

“You’ll get yourself killed,” she said one night as she bandaged his broken ribs.

He scoffed and said, “I am already dead, Maggie.”

An uncomfortable silence fell between them. Once she finished securing the bandage, Matt felt her sit down in front of him. He could almost feel her intense glare. “Can't you just call me mom for once?”

“No,” said Matt. He heard her heart skip and took in a dry gulp. For a second he felt bad for her. He contemplated his next words carefully before saying, “do you really want a zombie for a son?”

She didn’t say anything.

***

Matt wasn’t expecting to see him. Ever. Yet here he was. The old Matt’s best friend and business partner, kneeling at one of the pews, mumbling a prayer to himself. 

He was asking for courage from God. 

If Matt had a heart, it would have stopped beating when the mumbles finally ceased. He felt the skip in Foggy’s heartbeat when he got up and turned around to face Matt. The smell of salt hit Matt’s nostrils and it felt like hours before expensive shoes hit the concrete floor and made their way towards him. They stopped right in front of Matt and Matt could hear the shuddered breaths of his friend. He also heard Foggy clench and unclench his fist beside him. Matt took an instinctive step back. The punch never came. Instead, a loud sob escaped Foggy’s lips and suddenly there were arms around Matt’s neck. The impact sent both of them stumbling back, but Matt managed to steady himself and rested his hands on Foggy’s hips.

“Oh, my god, Matt,” Foggy sobbed. “You’re- you’re alive.”

Matt didn’t say anything. He didn’t know what to say. How was he supposed to tell Foggy that he wasn’t really alive? He was just a hollow shell of his former self.

When Foggy pulled away, one of his hand found its way to Matt’s cheek. Matt didn’t realize just how much he missed the warmth. His own body was so cold compared to Foggy’s. Matt closed his eyes and reveled in the touch. For the first time since he’d woken up, he felt alive.

“You’re so cold,” Foggy said, sniffling.

“That what happens when you’re an undead,” Matt finally spoke up.

The warmth suddenly left Matt’s cheek and he felt something that was akin to hurt. No, that wasn’t right. He couldn’t get hurt.

“Yeah, Maggie told me,” Foggy said. He released a soft sigh like it wasn't that big a deal and just a minor inconvenience.

Also, Maggie called Foggy her? “Oh did she?” Matt asked with an edge in his voice.

“Well, someone had to.” Now it was Foggy’s turn to snap. “Because apparently like always, you decided that it wasn’t going to be you.”

“Foggy- I couldn’t,” Matt replied.

“Save it, Matt." Foggy sighed once again and stepped away from Matt. “By now, I know you and your poor decision-making skills very well.”

“What was I supposed to tell you, Foggy? That I was a goddamn zombie now?” Matt asked. “Do you know how ridiculous that sounds? Would you have even believed me?”

“YES, Matt, I would have. Karen would have believed you. We would have done anything to have you back, Matt.”

Matt’s surprised by how confident and determined Foggy sounded. He had changed in these last couple of months. Matt didn’t say anything and just stood there motionless. A few minutes passed before Foggy moved to stand in front of him again.

“After EVERYTHING that we’ve been through, Matt, did you really think we wouldn’t believe you?” Foggy asked. He sounded hurt. Matt hated being the reason for that hurt. “None of this is your fault, Matt. So stop punishing yourself. We’ll find a way to fix this. Even if we don’t, you have friends who will pull you back when you go too far.” Foggy stopped and put a hand where Matt’s heart should be. “Let us be your heartbeat, your conscience. Just let us in, man. Let me in. I’m here, Matty. I’m here.”

This time Matt pulled him into a tight hug. The heat of Foggy’s body, his heartbeat, all gave Matt reassurance that maybe- maybe he was going to alright as this new Matt Murdock.


End file.
